Chapter 79
Who Are Your Role Models?
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Today's Empowering Quote
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"If each of us can be helped by science to live a hundred
years, what will it profit us if our hates and fears, our
loneliness and our remorse will not permit us to enjoy
them?"
-David Neiswanger
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Today's Empowering Question
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"What tiny step can I take today that will get me another
degree closer to overcoming the fear that stops me?"
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Today's Fast Session
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The strange thing about education is that you never know
where you'll get it and what shape it will take.
I know that a lot of people have the mistaken belief that
who your parents are and what happens to you during your
first few years dictates what you can and can't become in
life. I hope by now that, even if you haven't reached your
potential, you've grabbed onto the belief that you CAN
change anything about yourself you wish with the right
attitudes and actions.
I know far too many people now who continue to teach me
every day that growth can and should continue right up 'til
the day we die.
I recently came across a study by psychologist Robert
O'Connor on socially withdrawn pre-school children. He
wanted to see if he could reverse the pattern of social
isolation in children so that it wouldn't create persistent
difficulties in social comfort and adjustment through
adulthood.
He created a 23-minute video with 11 different scenes.
Each one began by focusing on a solitary child who watched
the other children participate in an activity. In each
scene, the child joined the group to the enjoyment of all.
O'Connor then went to a number of pre-schools and selected
the most severely withdrawn children and showed them his
film.
The results were dramatic...
In each case, these children immediately began to interact
to the same degree of sociability as the normal children in
the group. And what was even more astonishing was that a
follow-up 6 weeks later showed each of these children, who
had viewed this single video only once, were now leading
their schools in levels of social activity.
On the other side...
...the control group, the socially isolated children who
didn't see the video, were as withdrawn as ever.
What this study and others like it strongly suggest is
that when we have fears and barriers to achievements, it's
important that we see other people similar to ourselves
succeeding in spite of their difficulties. This teaches
our brains that if they can do it, so can we.
Marketers have known this for years. But what I want for
you is to be able to control your own thoughts, beliefs and
actions as well as the commercials do.
I know this probably sounds like a broken record by now,
but here I go again... Read the biographies of successful
people. Read about the people who were born in the back
rooms of shanties, people who couldn't afford shoes, yet
rose up to levels of success that they alone believed they
could achieve.
When you meet people who obviously have achieved some
degree of accomplishment, ask them how they did it. Find
out their beliefs. Tell them what you want to do. Almost
without exception, you'll hear from these people that,
while the effort was rarely easy, you've just got to
believe that it's in you to achieve great things.
One thing I found out from all my mentors (even if they
were only my mentors for 5 minutes) is that they like to be
asked about their struggle to climb the mountain.
Ask people about their success and you'll likely have
their attention for a good long time. Once you do,
possibly your only challenge then is keeping the
conversations from stretching into the night.
My point is this... Just like those children, who probably
thought, 'Those kids could do it and so can I,' you can do
whatever you want to achieve, too. And there's hardly
anything as motivating as seeing a person who crawled from
desperation and poverty to become a happy-to-be-alive
success story.
Use the power of role modeling. It will never let you down.
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Today's Winning Beliefs
---------------------------- -- I learn by the mistakes and successes of others as well
as my own
-- I enjoy stories about people who beat the odds
-- If others can overcome my same challenges, I can too
-- Every day teaches me more about my limitless potential
-- I seek to learn something from everyone I meet or read
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