Chapter 62
Seek To Understand
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Today's Empowering Quote
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"If you wish to please people, you must begin by
understanding them."
-Charles Reade ----------------------------------
Today's Empowering Question
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"How can I learn about what's important to other people?"
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Today's Fast Session
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An automobile manufacturer ran ads some months ago that
focused on the fact that their car had the same features as
another manufacturer's car that cost about $30,000 more.
The point of the ad was, of course, that nobody really
NEEDS a luxury automobile. They want them... for THEIR own
reasons. And car companies know this.
We all have our own specific wants. We want to be
understood... to be heard. We want to believe we matter.
Even people who don't do a stinking thing for another
living soul have these desires.
So if you're in a profession where you have to lead others
to your way of thinking or you're teaching others, you need
to enter their minds. You must know where a person stands
on an issue before you can direct them to the proper
decision for them. You must learn about their needs or
what their knowledge is about a specific subject before you
can teach them anything. In my sales career, I failed for a few YEARS because I
just rattled my canned speech off, never really listening
to what the other person was saying.
As a result, I went from brick and mortar to a one-room
home that got 13 miles to the gallon. Not using your ears
has consequences... for everyone.
OK, now. Let's play a game...
You have to give a gift to someone you've never met. You
don't know their gender or even their nationality. If they
like your gift, you get a million dollars. If they don't
like it, you get your head blown off.
Feel a little pressure? Okay. Game's changed. The person you must buy the gift
for is your best friend in the world. You know everything
about them. Same terms... Either a million dollars or you
swim with the fishes. Feels a little different doesn't it?
So how in the world can you get your point across to
others when you don't know what their viewpoint is, what
matters to them or what makes them tick?
In the hearing field, I found there were many different
reasons that people had for wanting to improve their
hearing. They may want to be a safer driver, have
conversations in a car, hear the TV better, hear the phone
ring, hear better on the phone, hear in crowds. The list
is endless. And there were just as many reasons why someone wanted to
hold off. Too much money, cheaper somewhere else, never
heard of us, only needs to hear in crowds, vanity. Equally
long list. How can you convince someone they need to hear better in
crowds when they're only in a big group once every 4 months
or so? Can't do it. I had to find out why THEY wanted to
hear well. I was able to get so good at getting inside
their heads that about 95% of my prospects chose me as
their hearing instrument provider. Our industry average
was about 25%... All by asking questions thoughtfully and truly listening
to the answers.
This doesn't only exist in selling products. This is
every day life. Do this...
Starting today, listen to conversations other people are
having. Listen to your own. Notice whether or not you or
others just jump in and try to convince people of things
before first finding out their opinion or position. If so,
you'll hear hesitation, doubt and rejection. If you pay
close enough attention, you'll observe all of those.
We all do things for our own reasons, not for the reasons
suggested by overzealous people as they tell us about vague
"benefits" that aren't even important to us.
When I stopped reciting my memorized lists of features and
benefits and started asking questions and began
purposefully listening to the answers, I began helping many
people to join the world of the hearing. My income
skyrocketed, and I noticed that I learned something
interesting and valuable from practically everyone I met.
If you can seek first to understand other people and what
motivates them in every situation, you will be able to
teach them, to lead them to the best decisions, and quite
often to your way of thinking.
Tell me, why would that be important to you?
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Today's Winning Beliefs
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-- I get my way because I give people what they want
-- The more I understand, the better I persuade
-- I lead others to my way of thinking by asking questions
-- I avoid conflict by understanding other people
-- I'm seen as agreeable even though I get my way
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