Chapter 29
Mistakes: Friend Or Foe?
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Today's Empowering Quote
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"Life is very interesting, if you make
mistakes."
-Georges Carpentier
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Today's Empowering Question
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"If I make a mistake during this task,
what's the worst that could happen? What's the best?"
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Today's Fast Session
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This is a sticky subject...
Fear of making a mistake is often the
last thing you feel just before you start to do something really
cool; and it stops most people dead in their tracks.
As usual, I'm not putting myself above
this. I'll point out that for what is still more than half my
life, I was dominated by fear. Fear of mistakes. Fear of
looking like a fool. Fear of failure and success.
One of the most ludicrous situations I
can recall where I was afraid of appearing stupid was in Junior High
School. I was told by no less than a half dozen friends
that a certain girl, who I did like very much, wanted me to ask her
to the upcoming Saturday night dance. It was very
obvious that she liked me.
I planned to ask her as soon as I
could muster up the courage.
Well, I waited and waited...
Pretty soon, it's Friday afternoon.
The last class of the day let out and everyone was making a mad dash
for the buses to go home for the weekend. And she just "happened by"
my locker.
Here was my chance...
A few seconds of small talk and I
finally start, "Would you like to, um..."
And that was all I could get out. She
waited for what seemed like a minute without me saying another word.
Thankfully, she helped me out, "...go
to the dance?"
What a relief! I said, "Yes!"
"I'd love to," she said.
Happily, my fear of women subsided
somewhat over the years, but it was just one more pattern that kept
me from enjoying a normal part of life that we can all experience if
we just stop being so "self" conscious.
Part of my growth was due to my new
passion for reading self help books in my early twenties. Failure
and poverty was starting to get old. I then started to learn what
makes us humans tick. Common themes ran through many of these
works.
One recurring and potent suggestion I
recall as sticking out was simply doing what you fear.
How could this help?
Well, as simple as it sounds, if you
do what you fear enough times, you'll find that there is nothing to
fear. You'll become comfortable doing it. The thing you
feared will soon become routine.
End of story.
I found out that girls didn't hold any
special power over me. I learned that making mistakes actually
gave me more opportunities to learn and gain proficiency... and that
most mistakes weren't going to kill me.
But a HUGE lesson in life (and make a
note of this because it's profound) I learned was that I could learn
more from other people's mistakes than I even had time to make
myself...
... if I paid attention.
I know. "Duh!"
But in the last 14 years, I have been
able to succeed in business to a degree I never even dreamed of
because my competitors (and most everyone else) don't do this.
If you keep your eyes open, each day
can teach you dozens and even hundreds of important lessons that you
CAN use.
Think about it. Do you need to get hit
before you learn not to step in front of a moving vehicle?
Every second of every day provides you
with lessons...
...If you have your eyes and ears open
to them.
Watch and listen to other people. Pay
attention to what causes the failure and success of others in even
the most tiny of situations.
This little used but powerful habit
can erase most of your fears, give you a feeling of power and put
you in control of your emotions in just about any situation.
Watch. Listen. Learn.
Every minute.
Live life. Have fun. But take your
blinders off. There's a lot going on around you every minute
that can teach you about how to eliminate fear of making mistakes.
Mistakes are a part of life. Don't
just accept that truth. Embrace it, and your life will be a whole
lot happier and filled with accomplishment.
Remember, the people who are laughing
at you as you're falling down are pointing at you to keep people
from looking at them!
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Today's Winning Beliefs
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-- Learning from mistakes and I are
one
-- Mistakes are necessary to living a happy, successful life
-- I learn everything I can from each mistake
-- I see mistakes as part of what I need to learn fast
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