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Chapter 50


What Am I Waiting For?

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Today's Empowering Quote
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"When you are feeling fear of some project or idea or dream, ask yourself, 'What am I still curious enough about to override my fear?' Follow your curiosity like a delicious scent leading you to a kitchen.  Let your curiosity peel back the dry, bitter skin of drudgery to find the sweet fruit of fun at the core.  Focus on what you love rather than fixating on the feelings of discomfort that sometimes accompany desire."
- Carol Lloyd

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Today's Empowering Question
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"What the heck am I waiting for?"

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Today's Fast Session
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I remember them all too well.

Sunday evenings...

I was eighteen. And for as long as I could remember, I dreaded Sunday evenings.

That was the time when I thought about all the homework and studying I hadn't done.  I dreaded not being prepared.

But I still didn't prepare.

It would have only taken 1-3 hours.

But it just sat there. Untouched.

Man, I HAD to go out and party. It WAS the weekend after all.

And the chores. Well, no. I had tried like hell to avoid those, too. That's what the typical fights then were usually about.

What was wrong with me?

The laziest kid my 12th grade English teacher had EVER seen in his 20 years of teaching.

Nice label.

That didn't change for quite some time.

After I began to learn about self-image things got clearer.

Giving myself a reason for being alive melted a lot of fear.

Noticing how little actions can quickly lead to large accomplishments was exciting.

But that wasn't my focus for nearly 25 years.

MY focus was pleasure at all costs. Even if the cost was mental anguish at putting off the things that everyone else told me were important.

If only I had been conditioned to feel extraordinary joy at accomplishment - to shrink down the size of big jobs - to have some great role models that could have taught me what was truly important.

When I think now about all the accomplishments I've stacked up over the last 16 years, the joys I've felt, the inner peace I feel from knowing that I am becoming who I've dreamed about being, there is no effort too big and no job too demanding that it is not worth what it would take... if the only rewards were those.

You know, three to four minutes isn't enough to completely change a life.  But stacked up, a lot of the right "few minutes" can be enough to change course and have a life of distinction.

It doesn't matter what your aim, there is nothing you can't do if you just begin.

Over the years, I've watched my sister in-law create some of the most beautiful quilts right before my eyes - even while a party is going on around her.  She'll be talking, laughing, listening, telling stories, having a good time.  And all the while, she's "multi-tasking" making her art.

To do great things, you've got to let go of the small things.  If you want to be more, then look at what you're hanging on to.  Don't turn your head. Look at it.  It will probably be painful.

Don't be afraid to look in the mirror.

To get out of whatever your current situation is, you have to know where you are.  If you don't, you can't possibly know where to turn.

Honesty, especially with yourself, is one of the greatest virtues you can possess.

And if you are completely honest with yourself - if you have your eyes open - I know you'll see that no matter how large the goal or task or "problem," no matter how impossible you believe it to be, it's almost impossible to fail if you will just get started doing something...

It's the hardest thing to do.

But lean.

Roll.

Crawl.

Call for help.

Whatever you have to do.

Look at that task.

Shrink it.

Make it tiny.

Itsy bitsy.

It's definitely not going to hurt you.

Pay attention to the reward.  Write down what you will get, and what you will start to become if you get this "horrible" thing done.

You WILL get something. THAT is what you must focus on.  You WILL become different IF you hang onto that image.

Feel it ahead of time. Over and over. Breathe deep.  In and out.

And get started.

Soon it will be over, and you get to feel for real what you had just imagined.

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Today's Winning Beliefs
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-- I'm getting started on important tasks today
-- I get a lot done because I begin
-- I enjoy starting and finishing challenging tasks
-- I can do whatever I set my mind to
-- I'm thrilled when I begin a big job
-- I feel incredibly alive at the beginning of a project
-- I'm a truly creative and imaginative person

 

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